Some say there are no words. I would say that I have been searching to find just the right ones for 2 days, 13 hours and 37 minutes. Because at 9:15 am Friday morning we said 'goodbye for now' to the most beautiful and kindest soul I have had the pleasure of meeting in this life so far. This soul was, and still is my beloved nephew Alexander Lynch-Barriga.
a.k.a Alex Lynch
I will say that this last year having walked so closely with him, that it has also been the most profound year of my life. This young man, from the day he was born with that undeniable knock you down smile that could brighten anyone at any moment, brought pure light into this world. He was the one person from his birth day onward that I knew I would and continue to unconditionally love.
Not being a mother myself, I felt this was the closest feeling to what it must feel like to have a child. Alexander is and will always be the eternal child in my eyes. Alexander was authentically kind, thoughtful, deeply caring, wise beyond measure, brilliant of mind and heart, and astoundingly loving. He always returned me to that humility of what love really meant and was for......to share, to receive, and to rejoice in. and at times to even bark and argue in with one another.
Over the last year and during his last days we spoke of this specifically. How nothing else was required of him but to receive this love that surrounded him in such a profound way. By his loving mother, his loving family, his good friends, as well as the nurses and doctors who cared for his body in the best of ways they were able.
And he did let himself receive that love. He exemplified the truest kind of courage and wisdom to me in that gesture, and to witness him just open and let it all in was so very beautiful. He was gracious and at times you could see how uncomfortable it made him, but he just went on in his humble way and said thank you. From the bottomless cup of Cherry Pepsi's, to the hundreds of exactly precise food choices he ordered, to the hundreds or more of hours of massage, to the warm hospital blankets, to the crunchy perfect ice cubes on the spoon, to the blue comforter he was wrapped in, to the exchanges of laughter and banter, to the deep and gorgeous conversations about life and death and everything in between, to the tens of thousands of kisses and hugs he received from all of us. To the billionth exchange of the words "I love you." Each moment and offering.....he just said "Sure". And when you parted a sweet "Love you too."
When everything quiets down to that moment I said my final goodbye to him, that was the clearest and most profound gift he gave me and I feel to all of us. To know he was truly truly loved and that he loved us, and that he is just fine. And now, he is returned to and continually eternally loved in the arms of the beloved.
I feel he would not want us to feel it was 'too soon' or he was 'too young' or 'he got a tough deal', as he gave what he came to give and received what he came to receive and I feel he was complete here. He was packed up with all that love to guide him on, and was truly ready to fly on. Every last breath used to the fullest.
And besides that, wherever he is, I am quite sure he has custom pizzas made for him at any moment he would like, along with the best ganja available to smoke, the best and most unusual array and shades of the color green every place he looks, with some good chill music flowing, and most definitely has Wayne's World or some other 20 something movie playing en loop in his personal movie theater! And I know without a doubt, that he is surrounded by his thousands upon thousands of soul friends, because once you met and knew him, you loved him instantly, and just wanted to hang out with him forever.
I love and miss him now in a way that I do not have words for. And now that is my gift back to him.....Every tear is for you nephew.
Alexander, you will always be my greatest guru, my shiniest of stars, and forever and always my beloved nephew. If you ever need your auntie, you know I am right here. YOU ARE LOVE.
Molly Shem Lynch
|"My boy my love my heart Mahal Kita" ~ Love Mom.|